331/ January 9, 2012 - Again, a disclaimer.
D.—
I know of this Filipino poet who broke up with his partner by saying: “I’m much too happy with you. I can no longer write.”
I wish to borrow those words while keeping all my words and keeping you. I’m much too happy with you but “I’m much too happy” does not say it right.
Instead I borrow from the past for contrast. The fastest way to use up all my words is to turn my inkwell upside down, so I’m letting it all spill out, the shadows of secrets that I tell you when we both can’t sleep because we’ve had too much coffee or laughter and lightness and everything else suffuses, becomes white noise. I need weight to anchor me to this page, and I look at my past for pulse, and I look at you and think of how I want my children to have your eyelashes.
We’ve talked about it before, how maybe we aren’t right for each other, how I’m too hopeless when you’re hopeful, and the reverse, but I’ll take my chances and fold my worries until we prove ourselves right by proving us wrong.
(Source: wordswidenight)
